Hello World!

After one week of anxiety-driven days, I'm officially back. Over the past few days, I havent done anything significant. The suspense of waiting for our final grade was just too much to bear. I SERIOUSLY thought I wasnt gonna make it to the list of graduates because my midterm grade was way waaaaayyyyy below the passing grade. For days, I couldnt bring myself to laugh or even smile. here were days when all I wanted to do was sulk in my room. I didnt want to move. I just lay there, thinking about what I'm gonna do incase I failed.

Flunking would mean:
1. I'd have to wait til November to retake my failed major subject. READ: NO CLASSES for 6 months [which, at this point in time, is not something to be happy about].
2. No intensive practicum for me this summer.
3. No completion duties with Kulto this summer.
4. Graduating 1 year behind my batchmates, which also means, I'd have to spend my last sem with people I barely know
5. I wont be going to the Senior's Ball on March 18
6. I wont be able to claim my graduation gift from lola dearest which she sent weeks ago. :)
7. I'd have to find a job for the next 6 months to keep myself from wallowing in self pity over and over again everyday 24/7.

There were gazillions more but these were the ones that constantly popped into my mind every 3 seconds.

After these sad realizations came the "possible solutions" to my teribble fate. In case I failed, I thought of:
1. Running away from home. But I realized that sooner or later, I'd have to go home whether I like it or not. So scratch that thought.
2. Commiting suicide. Yes, I was serious. My next question was "HOW?"
a. Shooting myself. [but I didnt know how to operate a gun, so scratch that]
b. Sleeping pills. [but where do I get the pills whithout making such a big fuss? What if it backfires and I end up in the emergency room instead? That would be embarassing, so scratch that.]
c. Have myslef run over by a vehicle in the middle of a busy highway. Big trucks preferred. [but then again, the driver might step on the breaks quickly and I'd end up getting scolded by a stranger in public instead, so scratch that too]
d. Cut my wrist. [but Ive heard so many backfired attempts on this plus the pain and embrassment it would cause me incase my plan fails is enought to keep me from choosing this option]
3. Burn down the college of nursing. Or even just my instructor's office to get rid of any evidence of my grades. It came to the point where my friend suggested that we use her remaining allowance for this month to buy a grenade. We'd sneak into another friend's room in her dorm at night while we wait til everyone's asleep. Then we'd do our evil plans in the middle of the night. We hadnt reached the part though as to how we were gonna throw the grenade at our teacher's office and get away safely. But really, we were serious when we discussed this. And for a split second there, I kinda thought of saying yes. But then, we realized getting imprisoned for 20 years isnt worth it, so we dropped the subject. [Desperate minds can think of the most outrageous solutions.]

After a few days, the brightest and most brilliant solution came to mind: APPLY IN A CALL CENTER!!

A few clicks in the internet brought me to various forums discussing about the pros and cons in the life of a call center agent. I learned that the basic salary would range from 10-13 thousand per month plus meal and transportation allowance and overtime pay. Come on, where else on earth could an unexperienced undergrad student earn as much as 13K per month! Aside from this, since the best call centers are located in Cebu [READ: an island away from home], this would mean I'd have to find a place of my own, pay my rent, buy my own food, spend for my own needs and wash my own clothes! How cool is that?!

I messaged a dozen of people from ISTORYA.NET [one of Cebu's top forums], asking what call centers [Convergys, Etelecare, PeopleSupport, Sykes, Western Wats, Touch Asia, etc.] accepted undergrads and what the requirements were. In a few hours, I got some replies and some even offered to refer me to their bosses. I sent them my contact details incase they wanted me for an interview. [Yep, I was processing my applications even before our grades were released. Future thinking]. I also came across PeopleSupoprt's online application. I had nothing to loose, so I filled the application and pressed the send button. I only filled up the Name, Cellphone number, and Educational Attainment feilds so I never really thought they'd take my application seriously.

A few days ago [still before the distribution of our grades], my phone rang with an unregistered landline number from Manila. I thought it was my lola or tita calling to ask about my graduation, so I answered it. I was speechless for a while when I found out the the person from the other line was from PeopleSupport. She asked whether it was alright to hold a phone interview with me right that moment. I was shocked and didnt know what to do, but I said yes anyway. First, she verified whether what I placed in the application form was correct. After that, she asked me how found out about thei site. Next, she asked me about my skills in using the computer. Being unprepared and nervous, I told her dierctly what I was capable of, nothing more nothing less. Then, she asked me why I applied for the job. I didnt know what to say and I wasnt prepared, so I decided to tell her the truth. [Still assuming that I failed] I told her that I was a 4th year student but I wont be attending classes til November so I wanted to make good use of my spare time during my 6 month vacant period. Then she asked me, "So if school starts in November, are you gonna stop working?" I said yes. At this point, she was like "ahh...ohhh..ok" Then a few more seconds, she told me, "Im sorry maam, but you didnt pass this stage of the inetrview. You dont have the sufficient requirements blah blah blah...you can apply again after three months. Thank you and goodbye."

I was silent for a few seconds. After a minute, it finally dawned on me, I just had my first rejection in job application. Now I know how it feels. It's not good, I tell you. I dont even know why I got rejected. But somehow, I didnt feel so bad since People Support wasnt really on top of my list. So I brushed it off, and moved on with life. When I got home, I checked my mail, and I got this message from someone in PEX whom I messaged earlier to ask advices and suggestions about my application as an undergrad. Along with his other suggestions, he told me that I shouldnt mention about staying for just 6 months during the interview since the agency would want to invest a 2-month training for someone who wasnt planning to stay long in the company. So that's where I went wrong! Oh well, charge that to experience.

Fortunately, a day after my first rejection, I found out that I no longer have to worry about finding a job for the next 6 months since I will be busy completing my requirements because I PASSED!!! WOOHOOOOOOOOOO!!! I couldnt believe my eyes when I saw my grade! It was higher than what I expected!! I couldnt ask for more. It literally brought tears to my eyes. My sleepless nights were finally over. It felt good. It still does. :)

I still cant get over the fact that Im really graduating. I really am. I cant believe it.

As much as I'd want to celebrate, graduation wont be as fun as we want it to be. Some friends and really important people wont be joining us, and that doesnt call for a celebration. I dont know, but I guess no one else but us will understand how it feels to agonizingly wait for the final judgement.

So I'm here, happy but not quite. Happy with how things worked out for me, sad with how some instructors can be so cruel and selfish.

but nonetheless, Im thankful for everything I have. Indeed, prayer is the most powerful solution.

And to all of you blogdorks who never fail to visit this site: THANKS FOR ALL THE ENCOURAGEMENT AND SUPPORT, IT HELPED A LOT! :)